| Cold Opening | Backstage |
| Sketch | Miss Malone |
| Musical Sketch | A Couple of White Guys |
| Sketch | Kelly Cola |
| Musical Performance | "What's Love Got to Do With It" |
| Show | New York On Five Dollars A Day |
| Sketch | Fritz's Bait and Tackle |
| Musical Performance | "Better Be Good to Me" |
| Show | Tuesday Night Titans |
| Sketch | New Auctioneer |
| Musical Performance | "Private Dancer" |
| Cold Opening | Backstage |
| Sketch | Kelly Cola |
| Billy Crystal | ... | Dale Butterworth |
| Mary Gross | ... | executive |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | executive |
| Sketch | Fritz's Bait and Tackle |
| Billy Crystal | ... | hunter |
| Christopher Guest | ... | hunter |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Walter Mondale |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Joan Mondale |
| Saturday Night News |
| Don Pardo | Voice | |
| Billy Crystal | ... | Dale Butterworth Still |
| Christopher Guest | ||
| Rich Hall | ... | Robert Latta |
| Martin Short | ... |
Nathan Thurm
Lawyer for the Tobacco Growers of America |
| Jim Belushi |
Air Horn CommentaryRestaurant review |
| Show | Tuesday Night Titans |
| Billy Crystal | ... | Little Caesar |
| Rich Hall | ... | Vince McMahon |
| Pamela Stephenson | ... | Cyndi Lauper |
| Sketch | New Auctioneer |
| Jim Belushi | ... | bidder |
| Mary Gross | ... | supervisor |
| Christopher Guest | ... | auctioneer |
| Rich Hall | ... | bidder |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Mr. Sotheby |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | bidder |
| Larry David | ... | bidder |
| Kevin Kelton | ... | bidder |
| Evie Murray | ... | bidder |
| Saturday Night News |
| Martin Short | ... |
Nathan Thurm#3
Lawyer for the Tobacco Growers of America |
| Cold Opening | Backstage |
| Jim Belushi | ... | Hulk Hogan |
| Billy Crystal | ... | Prince#1 Live |
| Billy Crystal | ... | Howard Cosell#2 Voice |
| Sketch | Fritz's Bait and Tackle |
| Show | Tuesday Night Titans |
| Cold Opening | Backstage |
| Sketch | Kelly Cola |
| Alex Karras | ... | Mr. Kelly |
| Billy Crystal | ... | Dale Butterworth |
| Mary Gross | ... | executive |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | executive |
| Commercial |
| Jane Wald | ... | wife Still |
| Jim Belushi | ... | Thomas Barrack Jr. |
| Christopher Guest | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕This sketch is removed in reruns. To fill time, "The Khaddaffi Look" from 10.03.1981 is shown later in the episode.
| Show | New York On Five Dollars A Day |
| Damon Evans | ... | guy |
| Frederick Koehler | ... | Boy Scout Still |
| Rich Hall | ... | Bernhard Goetz#2 |
| Sketch | Fritz's Bait and Tackle |
| Alex Karras | ... | Leroy |
| Billy Crystal | ... | hunter |
| Christopher Guest | ... | hunter |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Walter Mondale#3 |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Joan Mondale |
| Saturday Night News |
| Don Pardo | Voice | |
| Billy Crystal | ... | Dale Butterworth Still |
| Christopher Guest | ||
| Rich Hall | ... | Robert Latta#1 |
| Martin Short | ... |
Nathan Thurm#3
Lawyer for the Tobacco Growers of America |
| Jim Belushi |
Air Horn CommentaryRestaurant review |
| Show | Tuesday Night Titans |
| Alex Karras | ... | Captain Lou Albano |
| Billy Crystal | ... | Little Caesar |
| Rich Hall | ... | Vince McMahon |
| Pamela Stephenson | ... | Cyndi Lauper#3 |
♬Boots Randolph - "Little Big Horn"
| Sketch | New Auctioneer |
| Jim Belushi | ... | bidder |
| Mary Gross | ... | supervisor |
| Christopher Guest | ... | auctioneer |
| Rich Hall | ... | bidder |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Mr. Sotheby |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | bidder |
| Larry David | ... | bidder |
| Kevin Kelton | ... | bidder |
| Evie Murray | ... | bidder |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Alex Karras | 5 | 1 | |||
| Tina Turner | 4 | ||||
| Damon Evans | 1 | ||||
| Jamie West-Oram | 3 | ||||
| Frederick Koehler | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jane Wald | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jim Belushi | 5 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Billy Crystal | 5 | 2 | 1 | 1 | |
| Mary Gross | 2 | ||||
| Christopher Guest | 5 | 2 | |||
| Rich Hall | 5 | 3 | |||
| Gary Kroeger | 4 | 1 | |||
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | 3 | 1 | |||
| Martin Short | 2 | 2 | |||
| Pamela Stephenson | 2 | 1 | |||
| Robert Caminiti | 1 | ||||
| Larry David | 2 | ||||
| Audrey Peart Dickman | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Kelton | 1 | ||||
| Evie Murray | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Terry Rohnke | 1 | ||||
| Bob Van Ry | 1 | ||||
| Jeannine Kerwin Tree | 1 | ||||
| Dave Wilson | 1 | ||||
| 59 | 3 | 11 | 4 | 3 |