| Sketch | Nude Beach “Penis” |
| Matthew Broderick | ... | Doug |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Bob |
| Nora Dunn | ... | girl |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | girl |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Bill |
| Dennis Miller | ... | Ted |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Jack |
⁕This sketch originally appeared at the 10.08.1988 dress rehearsal, in which Jon Lovitz played Doug, Tom Hanks played Ted, and Robert Smigel played Bill.