| Sketch | Bad Dancer |
| Jeff Goldblum | ... | date |
| Aerosmith | ||
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | patron |
| Chris Farley | ... | patron |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | patron |
| Mike Myers | ... | band member |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Joe |
| Adam Sandler | ... | patron |
| Rob Schneider | ... | patron |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Jamie |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | employee |
| Jay Mohr | ... | employee |
♬Death To The Legion - "Jump They Say"