| Monologue |
| Anthony Edwards | ||
| Will Ferrell | ... | Ken Pamillan |
| David Koechner | ... | Swabby |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Denise Pamillan |
| Colin Quinn | ... | audience member |
| Nancy Walls | ... | audience member |
| Fred Wolf | ... | salesman |
| Dennis McNicholas | ... | audience member |
| Lori Nasso | ... | audience member |
| Paula Pell | ... | audience member |