| Sketch | Revolutionary War |
| Natalie Portman | ... | Patriot |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Patriot |
| Tina Fey | ... | Philadelphian |
| Beck Bennett | ... | representative |
| Pete Davidson | ... | representative |
| Mikey Day | ... | Charlie |
| Heidi Gardner | ... | Patriot |
| Alex Moffat | ... | Patriot |
| Kyle Mooney | ... | representative |
| Luke Null | ... | Patriot |
| Chris Redd | ... | Patriot |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Philadelphian |
| Steve Higgins | ... | narrator Voice |