| Cold Opening | Pentagon Press Conference |
| Mikey Day | ... | reporter |
| Andrew Dismukes | ... | reporter |
| James Austin Johnson | ... | Donald Trump#45 Live |
| Colin Jost | ... | Pete Hegseth#3 Live |
| Sarah Sherman | ... | Matt Gaetz#3 |
| Bowen Yang | ... | William Grace /reporter |
| Tommy Brennan | ... | reporter |
| Jeremy Culhane | ... | official |
| Ben Marshall | ... | reporter |
| Ashley Padilla | ... | reporter |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Shawn Michael | ... | reporter |