| Cold Opening |
| Tom Hair | ... | James Earl Jones#1 /announcer Voice |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Jesse Helms#1 Live |
| David Koechner | ... | Phil Gramm#2 |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | Bob Dole#4 |
| Mark McKinney | ... | Pat Buchanan |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Bernard Shaw#2 |
| Nancy Walls | ... | Bobbie Battista#1 |
| Andy Murphy | ... | protestor |
♬Buffalo Springfield - "For What It's Worth"