| Cold Opening | 30th Christmas |
| Sketch | Castaways |
| Musical Performance | "Los Laureles", "La Cigarra" |
| Sketch | Ski Lodge |
| Sketch | Subway |
| Show | Succinctly Speaking |
| Miscellaneous | Season's Greetings |
| Musical Performance | "Under African Skies" |
| Sketch | Texas Diner |
| Miscellaneous | A Message to Future Viewers |
| Cold Opening | 30th Christmas |
| Dana Carvey | ... | apostle |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Peter |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Mary Magdalene Live |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Judas |
| Dennis Miller | ... | John |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Matthew |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | Thomas |
| Tom Davis | ... | apostle |
| Sketch |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mr. Dingle |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | mother |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Master Thespian |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Dennis Miller
Opposing viewpoint on Gary Hart |
| Sketch | Ski Lodge |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Liz Sweeney |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jerry Knutson |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Candy Sweeney |
| Marc Shaiman | ... | Skip St. Thomas |
| Sketch | Subway |
| Phil Hartman | ... | beggar |
| Jan Hooks | ... | passenger |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | passenger |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | passenger |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | passenger |
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Hans |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Helmut |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Franz |
| Show | Succinctly Speaking |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Kathleen Fulmer |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Frankenstein |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Tonto |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Tarzan |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Miscellaneous | Season's Greetings |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Frankenstein |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Tonto |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Tarzan |
| Sketch | Texas Diner |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Bobby |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Jeannette |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ray |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Anita |
| Sketch | Ski Lodge |
| Miscellaneous | Season's Greetings |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Frankenstein |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Tonto |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Tarzan |
| Cold Opening | 30th Christmas |
| Paul Simon | ... | Simon |
| Dana Carvey | ... | apostle |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Peter |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Mary Magdalene Live |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Judas |
| Dennis Miller | ... | John |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Matthew |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | Thomas |
| Tom Davis | ... | apostle |
| Sketch |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mr. Dingle |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | mother |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Master Thespian |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Dennis Miller
Opposing viewpoint on Gary Hart |
♬Dire Straits - "Money for Nothing"
| Sketch | Ski Lodge |
| Paul Simon | ||
| Nora Dunn | ... | Liz Sweeney |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jerry Knutson |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Candy Sweeney |
| Marc Shaiman | ... | Skip St. Thomas |
| Brynn Hartman | ... | skiier |
| Sketch | Subway |
| Phil Hartman | ... | beggar |
| Jan Hooks | ... | passenger |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | passenger |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | passenger |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | passenger |
| Show |
| Paul Simon | ... | Scott Rosbicki |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Hans |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Helmut |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Franz |
| Show | Succinctly Speaking |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Kathleen Fulmer |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Frankenstein |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Tonto |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Tarzan |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕This sketch is the only time Phil Hartman broke character during his tenure. Also, the theme music was later used for "Learning to Feel".
| Miscellaneous | Season's Greetings |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Frankenstein |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Tonto |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Tarzan |
| Sketch | Texas Diner |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Bobby |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Jeannette |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ray |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Anita |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Paul Simon | 6 | ||||
| The Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitlán | 1 | ||||
| Linda Ronstadt | 2 | ||||
| Paul M. Simon | 1 | ||||
| Dana Carvey | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 3 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 9 | 4 | 3 | ||
| Jan Hooks | 5 | 2 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 6 | 3 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 2 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 5 | 3 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Tom Davis | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Marc Shaiman | 1 | 1 | |||
| Brynn Hartman | 1 | ||||
| 52 | 15 | 1 | 4 |