| Cold Opening | Patty Hearst at Home |
| Dan Aykroyd | ... | Randolph Hearst |
| Dan Aykroyd | ... | TV announcer Voice |
| John Belushi | ... | anchor |
| Jane Curtin | ... | Catherine Campbell |
| Garrett Morris | ... | Franklin |
| Laraine Newman | ... | Anne Hearst |
| Gilda Radner | ... | Patricia Hearst#1 Live |
| Al Franken | ... | TV announcer Voice |
| Don Pardo | ... | TV announcer Voice |