| Sketch | Heavy Wit Championship |
| Eric Idle | ... | Ray Grimwade |
| Dan Aykroyd | ... | Danny Fontanelli |
| John Belushi | ... | Mohammed Stallion |
| Garrett Morris | ... | Reg McQuade |
| Bill Murray | ... | Billy Lanova |
| Gilda Radner | ... | model |
| Tom Davis | ... | coach |
| Al Franken | ... | coach |
| Michael O'Donoghue | ... | coach |