| Cold Opening | Winter Olympics |
| Show | Rock & Roll and then some “Fifth Beatle” |
| Show | Wild Kingdom of Heaven |
| Show | Firing Line |
| Film | Babies In Makeup |
| Sketch | Mime Roommate |
| Sketch | New Bad Babies |
| Musical Performance | "Strip" |
| Sketch | Siamese Twins |
| Musical Performance | "Goody Two Shoes" |
| Show | Patty's Place “30 Seconds” |
| Cold Opening | Winter Olympics |
| Jim Belushi | ... | bobsledder |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | bobsledder |
| Joe Piscopo | Live |
| Show | Rock & Roll and then some “Fifth Beatle” |
| Brad Hall | ... | John Lennon Voice |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | Clarence Walker |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Buzzy Free |
| Show | Wild Kingdom of Heaven |
| Robin Duke | ... | owner |
| Mary Gross | ... | owner |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | owner |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Commercial |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Mahatma Gandhi |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Bandit Voice |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | hitchhiker |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Mime Roommate |
| Mary Gross | ... | neighbor |
| Brad Hall | ... | Tim |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | neighbor |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Deborah Voice |
| Sketch | New Bad Babies |
| Robin Duke | ... | baby |
| Mary Gross | ... | mother Voice |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | baby |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | Otis |
| Saturday Night News |
| Brad Hall |
Report on a man who is mugged every 11 seconds | |
| Jim Belushi | ... | Jesse Donnelly |
| Tim Kazurinsky |
| Sketch | Siamese Twins |
| Jim Belushi | ... | Happy |
| Mary Gross | ... | patron |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | bartender |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | patron |
| Nate Herman | ... | patron |
| Andrew Kurtzman | ... | patron |
| Show | Patty's Place “30 Seconds” |
| Mary Gross | ... | Patty Gordon |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Dale Butterworth |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Deborah Scott |
| Cold Opening | Winter Olympics |
| Robin Williams | ... | bobsledder |
| Jim Belushi | ... | bobsledder |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | bobsledder |
| Joe Piscopo | Live |
| Show | Rock & Roll and then some “Fifth Beatle” |
| Brad Hall | ... | John Lennon Voice |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | Clarence Walker |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Buzzy Free |
♬Chuck Berry - "Rock And Roll Music"
♬The Beatles - "I Want To hold Your Hand"
♬The Beatles - "Love Me Do"
| Show | Wild Kingdom of Heaven |
| Robin Williams | ... | Dr. Farrell Oakland |
| Robin Duke | ... | owner |
| Mary Gross | ... | owner |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | owner |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕After having trouble saying "Colonel Harland Sanders" a few times, Robin Williams ad-libs "I'm struck with tongue!"
| Commercial |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Mahatma Gandhi |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Bandit Voice |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | hitchhiker |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | announcer Voice |
♬Eric Weissberg & Marshall Brickman - "Shuckin' the Corn"
| Sketch | Mime Roommate |
| Robin Williams | ... | Rene |
| Mary Gross | ... | neighbor |
| Brad Hall | ... | Tim |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | neighbor |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Deborah Voice |
⁕This sketch originally appeared at the 09.25.1982 dress rehearsal.
| Sketch | New Bad Babies |
| Robin Williams | ... | Cody |
| Robin Duke | ... | baby |
| Mary Gross | ... | mother Voice |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | baby |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | Otis |
| Saturday Night News |
| Robin Williams | ||
| Brad Hall |
Report on a man who is mugged every 11 seconds | |
| Jim Belushi | ... | Jesse Donnelly#2 |
| Tim Kazurinsky |
| Show |
| Robin Duke | ... | Prunella |
| Mary Gross | ... | Ugly Sister Step |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Nina Blackwood#3 |
| Sketch | Siamese Twins |
| Robin Williams | ... | Biff |
| Jim Belushi | ... | Happy |
| Mary Gross | ... | patron |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | bartender |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | patron |
| Nate Herman | ... | patron |
| Andrew Kurtzman | ... | patron |
♬The Rollling Stones - "Under My Thumb"
| Show | Patty's Place “30 Seconds” |
| Mary Gross | ... | Patty Gordon |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Dale Butterworth |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Deborah Scott |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Robin Williams | 10 | 1 | |||
| Adam Ant | 2 | ||||
| Paula Poundstone | 1 | ||||
| Jim Belushi | 3 | 1 | |||
| Robin Duke | 3 | ||||
| Mary Gross | 6 | 1 | |||
| Brad Hall | 3 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Tim Kazurinsky | 4 | 1 | |||
| Gary Kroeger | 3 | 1 | |||
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | 6 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Eddie Murphy | 4 | ||||
| Joe Piscopo | 4 | 1 | |||
| Nate Herman | 1 | ||||
| Andrew Kurtzman | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| 52 | 1 | 4 | 6 |