| Sketch | 30 Counts |
| Tony Danza | ... | Eddie Castanza |
| Nora Dunn | ... | fiancee |
| Anthony Michael Hall | ... | Sean O'Malley |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Vinnie Barber#2 |
| Randy Quaid | ... | coach |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | referee |
| Danitra Vance | ... | fan |
| Nils Nichols | ... | photographer |
| Andy Murphy | ... | medic |