| Cold Opening | Heaven |
| Sketch | Amerida |
| Sketch | Jingle |
| Sketch | Valentine's Day |
| Musical Performance | "War Games" |
| Show | The Life of Golda Meir Chapter IV: The War Years |
| Sketch | Sketch Artist |
| Sketch | Hardware Store |
| Musical Performance | "The Long Run" |
| Musical Performance | "Heart of Gold" |
| Sketch | Amerida |
| Nora Dunn | ... | wife |
| Phil Hartman | ... | husband |
| Phil Hartman | ... | narrator Voice |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Margaret |
| Don Pardo | ... | TV announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Jingle |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Derek Stevens |
| Nora Dunn | ... | backup singer |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Michael |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Connie |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | backup singer |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Ringo Starr |
| G.E. Smith | ... | bassist |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Jacques Cousteau
Explains the mating ritual of napkin fish |
| A. Whitney Brown |
| Show | The Life of Golda Meir Chapter IV: The War Years |
| Phil Hartman | ... | general |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Menachim Begin |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | award presenter |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Moshe Dayan |
| Al Franken | ... | narrator Voice |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Mishu |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Miss Connie |
| Dennis Miller | ... | Koko |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Lebee |
| Weekend Update |
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Jacques Cousteau
Explains the mating ritual of napkin fish |
| Show | The Life of Golda Meir Chapter IV: The War Years |
| Sketch | Amerida |
| Nora Dunn | ... | wife |
| Phil Hartman | ... | husband |
| Phil Hartman | ... | narrator Voice |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Margaret |
| Don Pardo | ... | TV announcer Voice |
| Show |
| Bronson Pinchot | ... | Carl Sagan |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ted Koppel |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Brent Musburger |
| Al Franken | ... | Henry Kissinger |
⁕Kevin Nealon's microphone is off when he delivers his last line.
| Sketch | Jingle |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Derek Stevens |
| Nora Dunn | ... | backup singer |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Michael |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Connie |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | backup singer |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Ringo Starr |
| G.E. Smith | ... | bassist |
| Sketch | Valentine's Day |
| Bronson Pinchot | ... | Serge |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Babette |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Oxford Whitehead |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Desi |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Jacques Cousteau
Explains the mating ritual of napkin fish |
| A. Whitney Brown |
| Show | The Life of Golda Meir Chapter IV: The War Years |
| Bronson Pinchot | ... | Ya'akov Shimshon Shapira |
| Paulina Porizkova | ... | Golda Meir |
| Phil Hartman | ... | general |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Menachim Begin |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | award presenter |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Moshe Dayan |
| Al Franken | ... | narrator Voice |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Sketch Artist |
| Bronson Pinchot | ... | Mr. Roman |
| Phil Hartman | ... | police officer |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Detective Wolanski |
| Sketch |
| Paulina Porizkova | ... | Princess Paulina |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Mishu |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Miss Connie |
| Dennis Miller | ... | Koko |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Lebee |
| Musical Performance | "Heart of Gold" |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bronson Pinchot | 6 | 2 | |||
| Paul Young | 2 | ||||
| Buster Poindexter | 1 | ||||
| Paulina Porizkova | 4 | 1 | |||
| Pino Palladino | 2 | ||||
| Soozie Tyrell | 1 | ||||
| Dana Carvey | 4 | 2 | 2 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 3 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 7 | 1 | 1 | 1 | |
| Jan Hooks | 3 | 2 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 2 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 2 | 2 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 2 | 1 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | 2 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 5 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Al Franken | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 3 | 3 | |||
| Chris Parker | 1 | ||||
| G.E. Smith | 2 | ||||
| T-Bone Wolk | 1 | ||||
| Joe Forristal | 1 | ||||
| 57 | 8 | 11 | 5 |