| Cold Opening | Oral Roberts University |
| Sketch | The New Paper Chase The Pressure Cooker “Blackjack” |
| Musical Performance | "J Mood" |
| Sketch | Brookfield Zoo Banquet |
| Sketch | The Slave Drivers |
| Musical Performance | "Juan (E. Mustaad)" |
| Miscellaneous | UNLV |
| Sketch | The New Paper Chase The Pressure Cooker “Blackjack” |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Kelner |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Snyder |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Carol Haggerty |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jerry Tarkanian |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | student |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Commercial |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Andy |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Paul |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Victoria Jackson |
Has nothing to say Poem"The Life Of A Rug" |
| Sketch | Brookfield Zoo Banquet |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Liz Sweeney |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pete |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Candy Sweeney |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | guest |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | George Manus |
| Dennis Miller | ... | emcee |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | guest |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Sketch | The Slave Drivers |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ankanar |
| Nora Dunn | ... | wife |
| Phil Hartman | ... | narrator Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nubeena |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Cheops |
| Dennis Miller | ... | driver |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | driver |
| Brian McConnachie | ... | soldier |
| Commercial |
| Danny Aiello | ... | emcee |
| Matthew Fowler | ... | kid |
| Julie Hagerty | ... | mother |
| John Mahoney | ... | Paul Newman /Eddie |
| Anne Meara | ... | bartender |
| Ben Stiller | ... | Tom Cruise /Vince |
| Jerry Stiller | ... | Stu |
| William Stiller | ... | bowler |
| Nina Tremblay | ... | Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio /Carmen |
| Commercial |
| John Mahoney | ... | Paul Newman /Eddie |
| Ben Stiller | ... | Tom Cruise#1 /Vince |
| Nina Tremblay | ... | Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio /Carmen |
| Cold Opening | Oral Roberts University |
| Charlton Heston | ... | God Live |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Oral Roberts |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Debbie |
⁕In reruns, the middle portion is replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
| Commercial |
| David Gale | ... | priest |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Mrs. Clayton |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Charlie Clayton |
| Sketch | The New Paper Chase The Pressure Cooker “Blackjack” |
| Charlton Heston | ... | Alfred Kingsley |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Kelner |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Snyder |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Carol Haggerty |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jerry Tarkanian |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | student |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕In a shot of the students, Phil Hartman is seen leaving the set to go to next scene. In reruns, this shot is replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Church Lady#7 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jim Bakker |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Tammy Faye Bakker#1 |
⁕Dana Carvey accidentally says "how long does Tammy take, huh?" This is removed in reruns.
⁕Jan Hooks is briefly seen on camera applying her running mascara. In reruns, this shot is replaced with one from dress rehearsal.
| Commercial |
| Charlton Heston | ... | President Dexter#1 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted#1 |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Andy |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Paul |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Victoria Jackson |
Has nothing to say Poem"The Life Of A Rug" |
♬The Edgar Winter Group - "Frankenstein"
| Sketch | Brookfield Zoo Banquet |
| Charlton Heston | ||
| Nora Dunn | ... | Liz Sweeney#5 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pete |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Candy Sweeney#5 |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | guest |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | George Manus |
| Dennis Miller | ... | emcee |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | guest |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Joe Forristal | ... | guest |
| Commercial |
| Danny Aiello | ... | emcee |
| Matthew Fowler | ... | kid |
| Julie Hagerty | ... | mother |
| John Mahoney | ... | Paul Newman /Eddie |
| Anne Meara | ... | bartender |
| Ben Stiller | ... | Tom Cruise#1 /Vince |
| Jerry Stiller | ... | Stu |
| William Stiller | ... | bowler |
| Nina Tremblay | ... | Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio /Carmen |
| Glen Holtzer | ... | announcer Voice |
♬Eric Clapton - "It's in the Way That You Use It"
♬Warren Zevon - "Werewolves of London"
| Sketch | The Slave Drivers |
| Charlton Heston | ... | architect |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ankanar |
| Nora Dunn | ... | wife |
| Phil Hartman | ... | narrator Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nubeena |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Cheops |
| Dennis Miller | ... | driver |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | driver |
| Brian McConnachie | ... | soldier |
♬Alfred Newman - "Prelude"
| Musical Performance | "Juan (E. Mustaad)" |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Charlton Heston | 7 | 1 | |||
| Wynton Marsalis | 2 | ||||
| Don Braden | 2 | ||||
| Bob Hurst | 2 | ||||
| Marcus Roberts | 2 | ||||
| Jeff Watts | 2 | ||||
| Danny Aiello | 1 | ||||
| Matthew Fowler | 1 | ||||
| David Gale | 1 | ||||
| Julie Hagerty | 1 | ||||
| John Mahoney | 1 | 1 | |||
| Anne Meara | 1 | ||||
| Ben Stiller | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jerry Stiller | 1 | ||||
| William Stiller | 1 | ||||
| Nina Tremblay | 1 | 1 | |||
| Glen Holtzer | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 3 | 1 | |||
| Nora Dunn | 3 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 7 | 1 | 2 | 1 | |
| Jan Hooks | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 4 | 1 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 3 | ||||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 4 | ||||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 1 | ||||
| Brian McConnachie | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Joe Forristal | 2 | ||||
| 66 | 5 | 7 | 4 |