| Cold Opening | Oral Roberts University |
| Sketch | The New Paper Chase The Pressure Cooker |
| Musical Performance | "J Mood" |
| Sketch | Brookfield Zoo Banquet |
| Sketch | The Slave Drivers |
| Musical Performance | "Juan (E. Mustaad)" |
| Miscellaneous | UNLV |
| Cold Opening | Oral Roberts University |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Oral Roberts |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Debbie |
| Sketch | The New Paper Chase The Pressure Cooker |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Kelner |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Snyder |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Carol Haggerty |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jerry Tarkanian |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | student |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Commercial |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Andy |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Paul |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Victoria Jackson |
Has nothing to say Poem"The Life Of A Rug" |
| Sketch | Brookfield Zoo Banquet |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Liz Sweeney |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pete |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Candy Sweeney |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | guest |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | George Manis |
| Dennis Miller | ... | emcee |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | guest |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Sketch | The Slave Drivers |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ankanar |
| Nora Dunn | ... | wife |
| Phil Hartman | ... | narrator Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nubeena |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Cheops |
| Dennis Miller | ... | driver |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | driver |
| Brian McConnachie | ... | soldier |
| Commercial |
| Danny Aiello | ... | emcee |
| Matthew Fowler | ... | kid |
| Julie Hagerty | ... | mother |
| John Mahoney | ... | Paul Newman /Eddie |
| Anne Meara | ... | bartender |
| Ben Stiller | ... | Tom Cruise /Vince |
| Jerry Stiller | ... | Stu |
| William Stiller | ... | bowler |
| Nina Tremblay | ... | Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio /Carmen |
| Commercial |
| John Mahoney | ... | Paul Newman /Eddie |
| Ben Stiller | ... | Tom Cruise /Vince |
| Nina Tremblay | ... | Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio /Carmen |
| Cold Opening | Oral Roberts University |
| Charlton Heston | ... | God Live |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Oral Roberts |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Debbie |
⁕The middle portion of this sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Sketch | The New Paper Chase The Pressure Cooker |
| Charlton Heston | ... | Alfred Kingsley |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Kelner |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Snyder |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Carol Haggerty |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jerry Tarkanian |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | student |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕In a shot of the students, Phil Hartman is seen leaving the set to go to next scene. In reruns, this shot is replaced with one from dress rehearsal.
| Show |
⁕Jan Hooks is briefly seen on-camera applying her running mascara. This is unchanged in NBC reruns, but removed in all others.
| Commercial |
| Charlton Heston | ... | President Dexter |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Andy |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Paul |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Victoria Jackson |
Has nothing to say Poem"The Life Of A Rug" |
♬The Edgar Winter Group - "Frankenstein"
| Sketch | Brookfield Zoo Banquet |
| Charlton Heston | ||
| Nora Dunn | ... | Liz Sweeney |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pete |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Candy Sweeney |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | guest |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | George Manis |
| Dennis Miller | ... | emcee |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | guest |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Joe Forristal | ... | guest |
| Commercial |
| Danny Aiello | ... | emcee |
| Matthew Fowler | ... | kid |
| Julie Hagerty | ... | mother |
| John Mahoney | ... | Paul Newman /Eddie |
| Anne Meara | ... | bartender |
| Ben Stiller | ... | Tom Cruise /Vince |
| Jerry Stiller | ... | Stu |
| William Stiller | ... | bowler |
| Nina Tremblay | ... | Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio /Carmen |
| Glen Holtzer | ... | announcer Voice |
♬Eric Clapton - "It's in the Way That You Use It"
♬Warren Zevon - "Werewolves of London"
| Sketch | The Slave Drivers |
| Charlton Heston | ... | architect |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ankanar |
| Nora Dunn | ... | wife |
| Phil Hartman | ... | narrator Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nubeena |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Cheops |
| Dennis Miller | ... | driver |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | driver |
| Brian McConnachie | ... | soldier |
♬Alfred Newman - "Prelude"
| Musical Performance | "Juan (E. Mustaad)" |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Charlton Heston | 7 | 1 | |||
| Wynton Marsalis | 2 | ||||
| Don Braden | 2 | ||||
| Bob Hurst | 2 | ||||
| Marcus Roberts | 2 | ||||
| Jeff Watts | 2 | ||||
| Danny Aiello | 1 | ||||
| Matthew Fowler | 1 | ||||
| David Gale | 1 | ||||
| Julie Hagerty | 1 | ||||
| John Mahoney | 1 | 1 | |||
| Anne Meara | 1 | ||||
| Ben Stiller | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jerry Stiller | 1 | ||||
| William Stiller | 1 | ||||
| Nina Tremblay | 1 | 1 | |||
| Glen Holtzer | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 3 | 1 | |||
| Nora Dunn | 3 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 7 | 1 | 2 | 1 | |
| Jan Hooks | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 4 | 1 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 3 | ||||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 4 | ||||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 1 | ||||
| Brian McConnachie | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Joe Forristal | 2 | ||||
| 66 | 5 | 7 | 4 |