| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Al Franken |
Me, Al FrankenReport on dark secrets of the presidential candidates | |
| Bruce Babbitt | ||
| Victoria Jackson |
Song"I Am Not A Bimbo" |
⁕In reruns, the portion of Al Franken's segment between the pre-taped clips is replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
♬The Clash - "Should I Stay Or Should I Go"