| Cold Opening | Wimbledon |
| Sketch | Berlin Wall |
| Sketch | Evert vs. Navratilova |
| Sketch | Video Will |
| Musical Performance | "Angel" |
| Musical Performance | "Draw The Line" |
| Musical Performance | "Baby's Gonna Cry" |
| Sketch | Passages |
| Sketch | Evert vs. Navratilova |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Martina Navratilova |
| Phil Hartman | ... | agent |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | customer |
| Mike Myers | ... | agent |
| Sketch | Video Will |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Barbara Merrill |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Michael Merrill |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Bette Davis |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | lawyer |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Annoying Man |
| Kevin Nealon |
Review of X-rated films |
| Commercial |
| Dana Carvey | ... | father |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ronald Reagan |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | mother |
| Mike Myers | ... | Tatsuo Nosaka |
| Sketch | Video Will |
| Commercial |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phoebe Snow | ... | jingle singer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | consumer |
| Sketch | Evert vs. Navratilova |
| Chris Evert | ||
| Nora Dunn | ... | Martina Navratilova |
| Phil Hartman | ... | agent |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | customer |
| Mike Myers | ... | agent |
⁕The music played during the newspaper montages was previously used for Saturday Night News from 1982 to 1984.
| Sketch | Video Will |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Barbara Merrill |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Michael Merrill |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Bette Davis |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | lawyer |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕Jan Hooks makes all of the fast-forward sound effects live. At one point, she is seen doing it on-camera after "playback" has resumed.
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Annoying Man |
| Kevin Nealon |
Review of X-rated films |
⁕Kevin Nealon's commentary is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Sketch |
| Chris Evert | ... | She-Beast |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Tyler |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Org |
| Mike Myers | ... | Lothar |
⁕Most of this sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, in which Chris Evert refers to herself as "ruler of courts of clay".
| Sketch |
| Chris Evert | ... | Mrs. Billup |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Lyle Billup |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Susan Simpkins |
| Mike Myers | ... | Scott |
| Jeff Renaudo | ... | son Still |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Commercial |
| Dana Carvey | ... | father |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ronald Reagan |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | mother |
| Mike Myers | ... | Tatsuo Nosaka |
| Jeff Renaudo | ... | son |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chris Evert | 6 | ||||
| Eurythmics | 3 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Phoebe Snow | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 3 | 2 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 6 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Jan Hooks | 3 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 4 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 2 | ||||
| A. Whitney Brown | |||||
| Al Franken | |||||
| Mike Myers | 4 | 1 | |||
| Jim Downey | 1 | 1 | |||
| Lorne Michaels | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jeff Renaudo | 2 | 1 | |||
| 46 | 5 | 7 | 4 | 1 |