| Cold Opening | The Census |
| Sketch | Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive A Car Urban Toonces |
| Musical Performance | "No Alibis" |
| Sketch | The Adventures Of Calamity Jane |
| Musical Performance | "Pretending" |
| Sketch | The White Parrot |
| Sketch | Satan's Album |
| Musical Performance | "Wonderful Tonight" |
| Cold Opening | The Census |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ronald Reagan Live |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | enumerator |
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Garth Algar |
| Phil Hartman | ... | cable announcer Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nancy Simmons |
| Mike Myers | ... | Wayne Campbell |
| Sketch | Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive A Car Urban Toonces |
| Dana Carvey | ... | John Travolta /Bud |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Tom Davis | ... | patron |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Kevin Nealon | ... |
Mr. Subliminal
Commentary on Donald, Ivana, and Marla |
| Sketch | The Adventures Of Calamity Jane |
| Dana Carvey | ... | cowboy |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | cowboy |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | card player |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Doc Swenson |
| Tom Davis | ... | old man |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Sketch | Satan's Album |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Frank Zappa |
| Nora Dunn | ... | senator |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ozzy Osbourne |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Mephistopheles |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | senator |
| Musical Performance | "No Alibis" |
| Musical Performance | "Pretending" |
| Cold Opening | The Census |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ronald Reagan Live |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | enumerator |
| Show |
| Debra Winger | ... | Lisa Hartman |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Garth Algar |
| Phil Hartman | ... | cable announcer Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nancy Simmons |
| Mike Myers | ... | Wayne Campbell |
⁕Future cast member Tim Meadows' name is used to refer to a classmate.
| Sketch | Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive A Car Urban Toonces |
| Debra Winger | ... | Sissy |
| Dana Carvey | ... | John Travolta /Bud |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Tom Davis | ... | patron |
| Musical Performance | "No Alibis" |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Kevin Nealon | ... |
Mr. Subliminal
Commentary on Donald, Ivana, and Marla |
♬The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown - "Fire"
♬Paul Anka - "Times Of Your Life"
| Sketch | The Adventures Of Calamity Jane |
| Debra Winger | ... | Calamity Jane |
| Dana Carvey | ... | cowboy |
| Phil Hartman | ... | cowboy |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | card player |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Doc Swenson |
| Tom Davis | ... | old man |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Andy Murphy | ... | bartender |
| Musical Performance | "Pretending" |
| Sketch | Satan's Album |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Frank Zappa |
| Nora Dunn | ... | senator |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ozzy Osbourne |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Mephistopheles |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | senator |
| Andy Murphy | ... | spectator |
| Musical Performance | "Wonderful Tonight" |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Debra Winger | 5 | 1 | |||
| Eric Clapton | 4 | ||||
| Alan Clark | 3 | ||||
| Nathan East | 3 | ||||
| Steve Ferrone | 3 | ||||
| Katie Kissoon | 3 | ||||
| Tessa Niles | 3 | ||||
| Phil Palmer | 3 | ||||
| Greg Phillinganes | 3 | ||||
| Dana Carvey | 4 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 2 | ||||
| Phil Hartman | 6 | 2 | 3 | ||
| Jan Hooks | 2 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 3 | 1 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 1 | 1 | |||
| Kevin Nealon | 2 | 1 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | |||||
| Tom Davis | 2 | ||||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 1 | ||||
| Andy Murphy | 2 | ||||
| 59 | 5 | 5 | 3 |