| Cold Opening | Outside The Movies |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Mia Farrow |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Woody Allen |
| Chris Farley | ... | moviegoer |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Frank Sinatra Live |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Soon-Yi Previn |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Tony Roberts |
| Marci Klein | ... | moviegoer |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Alan Dershowitz |
| John Zonars | ... | moviegoer |
⁕In reruns, "scumbag" is dubbed over with "sleazebag".