| Sketch | Rookie Cop |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Tom |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Brenda Hamilton |
| Chris Elliott | ... | Red Skeffington |
| Chris Farley | ... | headline rotator |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Al Franken | ... | officer Voice |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Cheryl |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | viewer |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | viewer |
| Michael McKean | ... | coroner |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Jerome |
| Jay Mohr | ... | cop |
| Mike Myers | ... | commissioner |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Rudy Giuliani |
| Adam Sandler | ... | cop |
| David Spade | ... | cop |