| Cold Opening | Well Babies Tragedy |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jim Breuer | ... | Kenny McCaughey |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Brian Williams |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Diane Carbonal#1 |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton#26 |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Geraldo Rivera |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Jessica McClure |
| Molly Shannon | ... | Bobbi McCaughey Live |