| Cold Opening | Press Conference |
| Tina Fey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Donald Rumsfeld#5 Live |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Pete |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Ann |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Karen |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Doug |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Dave |
| Danielle Flora | ... | dancer |
⁕Dress rehearsal featured a different cold opening in which Chris Parnell played George W. Bush.