| Cold Opening | Petraeus Report on Iraq |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Barack Obama |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Will Forte | ... | David Petraeus Live |
| Bill Hader | ... | Robert Byrd |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | John McCain |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Hillary Clinton |
| Andy Samberg | ... | Carl Levin |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Miller |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | Code Pink protestor |
| Casey Wilson | ... | Code Pink protestor |