| Show | La Policia Mexicana |
| Rosario Dawson | ... | Isabella Lopez /Carmen |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Carloz Ruiz /Rafael |
| Bill Hader | ... | Roberto Gonzalez /El Jefe |
| Bobby Moynihan | ... | Miguel |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Paula Pell | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕In reruns, everything up to Bill Hader's exit is replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
♬Sam Spence - "Forearm Shiver"