| Cold Opening | Halley's Comet |
| Sketch | Posterior Arthropod “Bug Up The Butt” |
| Musical Performance | "Broken Wings" |
| Sketch | Clichés |
| Sketch | Vegas Nancy |
| Sketch | U.S.S. Cameron “Demands” |
| Musical Performance | "Kyrie" |
| Sketch | “All You Can Eat” |
| Commercial |
| Joan Cusack | ... | girl |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | guy |
| Nora Dunn | ... | girl |
| Anthony Michael Hall | ... | guy |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | guy |
| Randy Quaid | ... | guy |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | guy |
| Danitra Vance | ... | girl |
| Damon Wayans | ... | guy |
| Sketch | Posterior Arthropod “Bug Up The Butt” |
| Joan Cusack | ... | nurse |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Billy |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Marilyn |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Hal Gould |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Doug |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Doris |
| Damon Wayans | ... | patient |
| Commercial |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Rudy Randolph III |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Rudy Randolph Jr. |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Vegas Nancy |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Ronald Reagan |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Nancy Reagan |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | U.S.S. Cameron “Demands” |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Jim Grier |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jenkins |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Fuller |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Jones |
| Damon Wayans | ... | Washington |
| John Swartzwelder |
| Sketch | “All You Can Eat” |
| Joan Cusack | ... | patron |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | patron |
| Nora Dunn | ... | patron |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | waiter |
| Randy Quaid | ... | floating head |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | patron |
| Danitra Vance | ... | waitress |
| Damon Wayans | ... | patron |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | waiter |
| Cold Opening | Halley's Comet |
| John Lithgow | ... | Dr. Federico Live |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Bruce Winston |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Ronald Reagan#3 |
| Commercial |
| Joan Cusack | ... | girl |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | guy |
| Nora Dunn | ... | girl |
| Anthony Michael Hall | ... | guy |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | guy |
| Randy Quaid | ... | guy |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | guy |
| Danitra Vance | ... | girl |
| Damon Wayans | ... | guy |
| Sketch | Posterior Arthropod “Bug Up The Butt” |
| John Lithgow | ... | Bob Danielson |
| Joan Cusack | ... | nurse |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Billy |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Marilyn |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Hal Gould |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Doug |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Doris |
| Damon Wayans | ... | patient |
| Sketch |
| John Lithgow | ... | Baudelaire#1 |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Master Thespian#1 |
| Mark McKinney | ... | announcer Voice |
♬Trevor Duncan - "English Suite"
| Commercial |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Rudy Randolph III#1 |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Rudy Randolph Jr.#1 |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Damon Wayans |
Commentary on the Geneva Summit |
♬"Jaws" Theme
♬"Superman" Theme
| Sketch | Vegas Nancy |
| John Lithgow | ... | aide |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Ronald Reagan#4 |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Nancy Reagan#3 |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Guest Performance |
⁕In reruns, everything except John Lithgow's introduction and the closing shot is replaced with the dress rehearsal version. To fill time, "Trojans" from 11.16.1985 is shown later in the episode.
| Sketch | U.S.S. Cameron “Demands” |
| John Lithgow | ... | captain |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Jim Grier |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jenkins |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Fuller |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Jones |
| Damon Wayans | ... | Washington |
| John Swartzwelder |
⁕Randy Quaid has trouble closing the door because the carpet is bunched up, and John Lithgow ad-libs "Take care of that carpet, will you please, Fuller?"
| Sketch | “All You Can Eat” |
| Joan Cusack | ... | patron |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | patron |
| Nora Dunn | ... | patron |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | waiter |
| Randy Quaid | ... | floating head#2 |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | patron |
| Danitra Vance | ... | waitress |
| Damon Wayans | ... | patron |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | waiter |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| John Lithgow | 7 | 1 | |||
| Mr. Mister | 2 | ||||
| Sam Kinison | 1 | ||||
| Rex Robbins | 1 | ||||
| Joan Cusack | 4 | ||||
| Robert Downey Jr. | 6 | 1 | |||
| Nora Dunn | 3 | ||||
| Anthony Michael Hall | 1 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 5 | 1 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Randy Quaid | 7 | 2 | 2 | ||
| Terry Sweeney | 4 | 1 | |||
| Danitra Vance | 3 | ||||
| Don Novello | |||||
| Dan Vitale | |||||
| Damon Wayans | 5 | ||||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Mark McKinney | 1 | 1 | |||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| John Swartzwelder | 1 | ||||
| Dave Wilson | 1 | 1 | |||
| 56 | 5 | 3 | 4 |