| Sketch | U.S.S. Cameron |
| John Lithgow | ... | captain |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Jim Grier |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jenkins |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Fuller |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Jones |
| Damon Wayans | ... | Washington |
| John Swartzwelder |
⁕Randy Quaid has trouble moving the door because the carpet continually bunches up and blocks it.