| Sketch |
| Paul Simon | ||
| Joan Cusack | ... | Mrs. Garfunkel |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Paul Simon |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Mary Jo |
| Anthony Michael Hall | ... | Art Garfunkel |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Mephistopheles#2 |
| Randy Quaid | ... | floating head#6 |
| Danitra Vance | ... | bassoonist |
⁕Joan Cusack accidentally calls Robert Downey Jr. "Seymour" when telling the boys that Uncle Seymour is sleeping upstairs.