| Sketch | Dan Quayle: President Chapter One: The First Five Minutes |
| John Larroquette | ... | James Baker |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | narrator Voice |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Dan Quayle#1 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | William J. Crowe Still |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | secretary Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Michael Deaver |
⁕Most of this sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.