| Show | Miss Self-Esteem USA Pageant |
| Melanie Griffith | ... | Denise O'Donnell /Miss New York |
| Diana Berry | ... | Miss Connecticut |
| Cynthia Elane | ... | Miss Illinois |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Blaire Dixon /Miss Georgia |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Cindy Barlow /Miss Wyoming |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jamie Farr |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Michael Gross |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |