| Cold Opening | Dream |
| Sketch | The Affair |
| Sketch | Carl's Quik-Stop |
| Show | Slapped By Beaver Tails |
| Musical Performance | "Jerk Out" |
| Sketch | Attack Of The Colossal Killer Lincoln |
| Musical Performance | "Chocolate" |
| Show | What Was I Thinking? |
| Sketch | Paying For Dinner |
| Sketch | Complaint |
| Film | The Vision of Van Gogh |
| Sketch | The Affair |
| Dana Carvey | ... | guy |
| Jan Hooks | ... | suspectful wife |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | friend |
| Mike Myers | ... | Ed Miles |
| Chris Farley | ... | Drinkin' Buddy |
| Chris Rock | ... | guy |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show | Slapped By Beaver Tails |
| Phil Hartman | ... | A.J. Tacks Clammer |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Monica Clayborne |
| Mike Myers | ... | host |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Rod Camacho |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Chris Rock |
Commentary on boxing and Indians | |
| Chris Farley | ... |
Tom Arnold
Commentary on their National Enquirer lawsuit |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Roseanne |
| Sketch | Attack Of The Colossal Killer Lincoln |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Billy |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Lincoln statue |
| Jan Hooks | ... | visitor |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | motorist |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | motorist |
| Chris Farley | ... | soldier |
| Chris Rock | ... | soldier |
| Tom Davis | ... | Jefferson statue |
| Commercial |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Pol Pot |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Saddam Hussein |
| Chris Rock | ... | Idi Amin |
| Al Franken | ||
| Lorne Michaels | ||
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show | What Was I Thinking? |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Walter Mondale |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Arthur Hansen |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Shelley Long |
| Sketch | Paying For Dinner |
| Phil Hartman | ... | waiter |
| Jan Hooks | ... | friend |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | wife |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | friend |
| Weekend Update |
| Chris Farley | ... |
Tom Arnold#1 Commentary on their National Enquirer lawsuit |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Roseanne#5 |
| Cold Opening | Dream |
| Sketch | The Affair |
| Dana Carvey | ... | guy |
| Jan Hooks | ... | suspectful wife |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | friend |
| Mike Myers | ... | Ed Miles#2 |
| Chris Farley | ... | Drinkin' Buddy#1 |
| Chris Rock | ... | guy |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Carl's Quik-Stop |
| George Steinbrenner | ... | Carl Mueller |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pete |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Steve |
| Chris Farley | ... | employee |
| John D. Bair | ... | employee |
| Show | Slapped By Beaver Tails |
| Phil Hartman | ... | A.J. Tacks Clammer |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Monica Clayborne |
| Mike Myers | ... | host |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Rod Camacho |
| Musical Performance | "Jerk Out" |
⁕This performance is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Chris Rock |
Commentary on boxing and Indians | |
| Chris Farley | ... |
Tom Arnold#1 Commentary on their National Enquirer lawsuit |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Roseanne#5 |
♬Sly & The Family Stone - "Dance to the Music"
| Sketch | Attack Of The Colossal Killer Lincoln |
| George Steinbrenner | ... | soldier |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Billy |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Lincoln statue |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | visitor |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | motorist |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | motorist |
| Chris Farley | ... | soldier |
| Chris Rock | ... | soldier |
| Tom Davis | ... | Jefferson statue |
| Commercial |
| George Steinbrenner | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Pol Pot |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Saddam Hussein |
| Chris Rock | ... | Idi Amin |
| Al Franken | ||
| Lorne Michaels | ||
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Musical Performance | "Chocolate" |
⁕After being "served dinner", Morris Day exclaims "Where the fuck this chicken come from? I thought I ordered ribs!" The expletive is muted in reruns.
| Show | What Was I Thinking? |
| George Steinbrenner | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Walter Mondale |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Arthur Hansen |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Shelley Long |
| Sketch | Paying For Dinner |
| George Steinbrenner | ... | Bob Bauer |
| Phil Hartman | ... | waiter |
| Jan Hooks | ... | friend |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | wife |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | friend |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| George Steinbrenner | 8 | ||||
| The Time | 2 | ||||
| Bob Costas | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 4 | 2 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 6 | 1 | |||
| Jan Hooks | 5 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 7 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 3 | 1 | |||
| Kevin Nealon | 6 | 1 | |||
| Chris Farley | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Chris Rock | 4 | 1 | |||
| Al Franken | 1 | ||||
| Tom Davis | 1 | ||||
| Lorne Michaels | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Tom Schiller | 1 | 1 | |||
| John D. Bair | 1 | ||||
| 58 | 2 | 8 | 5 |