| Cold Opening | Dirty Square Dancing |
| Sketch | Ghost |
| Miscellaneous | Tax Ad |
| Miscellaneous | Tax Ad |
| Musical Performance | "Vision Of Love" |
| Sketch | Chippendales |
| Sketch | White Trash Bed and Breakfast Another Failure |
| Musical Performance | "Vanishing" |
| Sketch | Mouse Trap Seminar |
| Cold Opening | Dirty Square Dancing |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pete |
| Jan Hooks | ... | dancer |
| G.E. Smith | ... | band member |
| Sketch | Chippendales |
| Jan Hooks | ... | judge |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Marcy |
| Mike Myers | ... | judge |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | judge |
| Chris Farley | ... | Barney |
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Johnny Carson |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ed McMahon |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Susan Dey |
| Chris Rock | ... | Arsenio Hall |
| Sketch | White Trash Bed and Breakfast Another Failure |
| Dana Carvey | ... | George Cooper |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | father |
| Jan Hooks | ... | mother |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | daughter |
| Mike Myers | ... | Marky Bob |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | son |
| Chris Farley | ... | Ray |
| Rob Schneider | ... | son |
| Sketch | Mouse Trap Seminar |
| Dana Carvey | ... | student |
| Jan Hooks | ... | student |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | student |
| Mike Myers | ... | student |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | teacher |
| Chris Farley | ... | student |
| Rob Schneider | ... | student |
| Tom Davis | ... | student |
| Conan O'Brien | ... | student |
| Bob Odenkirk | ... | student |
| Robert Smigel | ... | student |
| Bonnie Turner | ... | student |
| Christine Zander | ... | student |
| Cold Opening | Dirty Square Dancing |
| Patrick Swayze | ... | Johnny Live |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pete |
| Jan Hooks | ... | dancer |
| G.E. Smith | ... | band member |
| Sketch | Ghost |
| Patrick Swayze | ... | Sam |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Molly |
| Chris Rock | ... | Oda Mae Brown |
♬The Righteous Brothers - "Unchained Melody"
| Commercial |
| Patrick Swayze | ... | Jorge Montenero |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Raoul Valendez |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Miscellaneous | Tax Ad |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Sam Walton |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕Phil Hartman ad-libs in response to a loud crash in the studio.
| Weekend Update |
♬Sex Pistols - "God Save the Queen"
| Sketch | Chippendales |
| Patrick Swayze | ... | Adrian |
| Jan Hooks | ... | judge |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Marcy |
| Mike Myers | ... | judge |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | judge |
| Chris Farley | ... | Barney |
⁕The dancing portion of this sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
♬Loverboy - "Working for the Weekend"
♬Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes - "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life"
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Johnny Carson |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ed McMahon |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Susan Dey |
| Chris Rock | ... | Arsenio Hall |
| Sketch | White Trash Bed and Breakfast Another Failure |
| Patrick Swayze | ... | Lonnie |
| Dana Carvey | ... | George Cooper |
| Phil Hartman | ... | father |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | mother |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | daughter |
| Mike Myers | ... | Marky Bob |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | son |
| Chris Farley | ... | Ray |
| Rob Schneider | ... | son |
| Sketch | Mouse Trap Seminar |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | film narrator Voice |
| Dana Carvey | ... | student |
| Jan Hooks | ... | student |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | student |
| Mike Myers | ... | student |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | teacher |
| Chris Farley | ... | student |
| Rob Schneider | ... | student |
| Tom Davis | ... | student |
| Conan O'Brien | ... | student |
| Bob Odenkirk | ... | student |
| Robert Smigel | ... | student |
| Bonnie Turner | ... | student |
| Christine Zander | ... | student |
⁕As he enters the classroom, the crab falls off of Bob Odenkirk's nose. This is fixed in reruns.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Patrick Swayze | 8 | ||||
| Mariah Carey | 2 | ||||
| Lisa Niemi | 1 | ||||
| Randy Jackson | 1 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 2 | 2 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Phil Hartman | 6 | 3 | 2 | ||
| Jan Hooks | 5 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 4 | ||||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 3 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 4 | 1 | |||
| Chris Farley | 3 | ||||
| Chris Rock | 2 | 1 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Al Franken | |||||
| Rob Schneider | 2 | ||||
| Tom Davis | 1 | ||||
| Conan O'Brien | 1 | ||||
| Bob Odenkirk | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Robert Smigel | 1 | ||||
| G.E. Smith | 1 | ||||
| David Spade | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Bonnie Turner | 1 | ||||
| Christine Zander | 1 | ||||
| 60 | 2 | 7 | 7 |