| Cold Opening | Military Briefing |
| Miscellaneous | No Commercial |
| Sketch | Copy Machine |
| Show | The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southhampton |
| Musical Performance | "Bitter Tears" |
| Sketch | New Roommate |
| Show | Dance Party USA War In The Gulf Special |
| Show | SoundStage |
| Musical Performance | "Suicide Blonde" |
| Musical Sketch | Cleaning My Rifle |
| Cold Opening | Military Briefing |
| Dana Carvey | ... | reporter |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Dick Cheney |
| Jan Hooks | ... | reporter |
| Mike Myers | ... | reporter |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Lt. Colonel William Pierson Live |
| Chris Farley | ... | reporter |
| Tim Meadows | ... | reporter |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | reporter |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Farud Hashami |
| Leslie Carangi | ... | reporter |
| Tom Davis | ... | reporter |
| Conan O'Brien | ... | reporter |
| Sketch | Copy Machine |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Steve |
| Mike Myers | ... | Tom |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Randy |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Tim |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Sandy |
| Adam Sandler | ... | repairman |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Richard Laymer |
| Show |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Chris Farley | ... | Sandman |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Colin Powell |
| Chris Rock | ... | Nat X |
| Show | The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southhampton |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jeffrey |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Cossima |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Meg |
| Mike Myers | ... | Blake |
| Chris Farley | ... | brother |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show | Dance Party USA War In The Gulf Special |
| Dana Carvey | ... | dancer |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Uptown Patricia Levy |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Samantha |
| Mike Myers | ... | dancer |
| Chris Farley | ... | Dave |
| Tim Meadows | ... | dancer |
| Chris Rock | ... | dancer |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Cindy |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Renardo |
| David Spade | ... | dancer |
| Musical Sketch | Cleaning My Rifle |
| Dana Carvey | ... | soldier |
| Phil Hartman | ... | soldier |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | soldier |
| Sketch | Copy Machine |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Steve |
| Mike Myers | ... | Tom |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Randy |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Tim |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Sandy |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Richard Laymer |
| Cold Opening | Military Briefing |
| Dana Carvey | ... | reporter |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Dick Cheney |
| Jan Hooks | ... | reporter |
| Mike Myers | ... | reporter |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Lt. Colonel William Pierson Live |
| Chris Farley | ... | reporter |
| Tim Meadows | ... | reporter |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | reporter |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Farud Hashami |
| Leslie Carangi | ... | reporter |
| Tom Davis | ... | reporter |
| Conan O'Brien | ... | reporter |
⁕Tim Meadows' question is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns. In the live show, he is wearing the same facial prosthetics used to play Colin Powell later in the episode.
| Sketch | Copy Machine |
| Kevin Bacon | ... | repairman |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Steve |
| Mike Myers | ... | Tom |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Randy |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Tim |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Sandy |
| Adam Sandler | ... | repairman |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Richard Laymer |
⁕In reruns, the last few minutes of this sketch are replaced with the dress rehearsal version, which includes Tim Meadows' scene. In the live show, he is again wearing the Colin Powell facial prosthetics.
| Show |
| Kevin Bacon | ... | Vanilla Ice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Chris Farley | ... | Sandman |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Colin Powell |
| Chris Rock | ... | Nat X |
⁕Some of this sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Show | The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southhampton |
| Kevin Bacon | ... | Collin |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jeffrey |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Cossima |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Meg |
| Mike Myers | ... | Blake |
| Chris Farley | ... | brother |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
♬The Who - "I Can See For Miles"
| Show | Dance Party USA War In The Gulf Special |
| Kevin Bacon | ... | Rock Steady |
| Dana Carvey | ... | dancer |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Uptown Patricia Levy |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Samantha |
| Mike Myers | ... | dancer |
| Chris Farley | ... | Dave |
| Tim Meadows | ... | dancer |
| Chris Rock | ... | dancer |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Cindy |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Renardo |
| David Spade | ... | dancer |
⁕In reruns, this sketch is replaced with one from dress rehearsal in which Gulf War soldiers discuss messages to write on a bomb.
♬MC Breeze & Joey B. Ellis - "Go for It"
♬2 In a Room - "Wiggle It"
♬Linear - "Sending All My Love"
| Musical Sketch | Cleaning My Rifle |
| Kevin Bacon | ... | soldier |
| Dana Carvey | ... | soldier |
| Phil Hartman | ... | soldier |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | soldier |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kevin Bacon | 8 | 1 | |||
| INXS | 2 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 4 | ||||
| Phil Hartman | 8 | 1 | 1 | 4 | |
| Jan Hooks | 4 | ||||
| Victoria Jackson | 2 | ||||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 5 | 1 | |||
| Kevin Nealon | 4 | 1 | |||
| Chris Farley | 4 | 1 | |||
| Tim Meadows | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Chris Rock | 2 | 1 | |||
| Julia Sweeney | 3 | 1 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Al Franken | 1 | 1 | |||
| Adam Sandler | 2 | ||||
| Rob Schneider | 2 | 1 | |||
| David Spade | 1 | ||||
| Leslie Carangi | 1 | ||||
| Tom Davis | 1 | ||||
| Jack Handey | 2 | 2 | |||
| Conan O'Brien | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| 65 | 9 | 3 | 8 |