| Cold Opening | Neverland Ranch |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Martin Bashir |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Elizabeth Taylor |
| Will Forte | ... | Macaulay Culkin |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Geraldo Rivera |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Michael Jackson Live |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | LaToya Jackson |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Emmanuel Lewis |