| Cold Opening | The Trial You Wish Had Happened |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Donald Trump |
| Beck Bennett | ... | Mitch McConnell |
| Pete Davidson | ... | Hunter Biden |
| Mikey Day | ... | John Roberts |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Kate McKinnon | ... | Lindsey Graham |
| Alex Moffat | ... | Adam Schiff |
| Kyle Mooney | ... | Vinny |
| Cecily Strong | ... | John Bolton |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Greg Mathis Live |