| Show | Lisa Pongrasic, Very Pregnant Undercover Cop |
| Musical Performance | "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)", "Hold On" |
| Sketch | Who Shot Me? |
| Musical Performance | "Free Your Mind" |
| Sketch | Colosseum Events Committee |
| Film | Million Dollar Zombie |
| Sketch | Money for Booze |
| Cold Opening |
| Dana Carvey | ... | John McLaughlin Live |
| Chris Farley | ... | Jack Germond |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pat Buchanan |
| Mike Myers | ... | Fred Barnes |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Morton Kondracke |
| Show | Lisa Pongrasic, Very Pregnant Undercover Cop |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Rodriguez |
| Chris Farley | ... | Kevin Riley /Kevin Hurley |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Preston Furman /Murdock |
| Chris Rock | ... | G-Love |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Lyle Billup |
| Chris Farley | ... | guest |
| Phil Hartman | ... | guest |
| Mike Myers | ... | son Still |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | guest |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Mrs. Billup |
| Tim Meadows | ... | singing telegram |
| Rob Schneider | ... | mailman |
| Weekend Update |
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Beth Cahill | ... |
Denise Swerski
Makeup tips for brides |
| Adam Sandler | ... |
Cajun Man
Report on March Madness |
| Sketch | Who Shot Me? |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. McKenzie |
| Chris Rock | ... | Caldwell |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Lucretia Diane |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Desmond |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Juan |
| Sketch | Colosseum Events Committee |
| Phil Hartman | ... | chairman |
| Mike Myers | ... | chairman |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | chairman |
| Film | Million Dollar Zombie |
| Chris Farley | ... | Bill Carruthers |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ed McMahon |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Vicky Carruthers |
| Siobhan Fallon | ... | zombie |
| Beth Cahill | ... | zombie |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | zombie |
| Gregory G. Allen | ... | farmhand |
| Show | Lisa Pongrasic, Very Pregnant Undercover Cop |
| Mary Stuart Masterson | ... | Megan Forrester /Lisa Pongrasic |
| Weekend Update |
| Beth Cahill | ... |
Denise Swerski
Makeup tips for brides |
| Adam Sandler | ... |
Cajun Man
Report on March Madness |
| Cold Opening |
| Dana Carvey | ... | John McLaughlin Live |
| Chris Farley | ... | Jack Germond |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pat Buchanan |
| Mike Myers | ... | Fred Barnes |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Morton Kondracke |
| Cold Opening |
| Joel Godard | ... | announcer Voice |
| Dana Carvey | ... | John McLaughlin Live |
| Chris Farley | ... | Jack Germond |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Pat Buchanan |
| Mike Myers | ... | Fred Barnes |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Morton Kondracke |
| Show | Lisa Pongrasic, Very Pregnant Undercover Cop |
| Mary Stuart Masterson | ... | Megan Forrester /Lisa Pongrasic |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Rodriguez |
| Chris Farley | ... | Kevin Riley /Kevin Hurley |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Preston Furman /Murdock |
| Chris Rock | ... | G-Love |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch |
| Mary Stuart Masterson | ... | Lisa |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Lyle Billup |
| Chris Farley | ... | guest |
| Phil Hartman | ... | guest |
| Mike Myers | ... | son Still |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | guest |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Mrs. Billup |
| Tim Meadows | ... | singing telegram |
| Rob Schneider | ... | mailman |
| Jeff Renaudo | ... | son Still |
| Weekend Update |
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Beth Cahill | ... |
Denise Swerski
Makeup tips for brides |
| Adam Sandler | ... |
Cajun Man
Report on March Madness |
| Sketch |
| Mary Stuart Masterson | ... | Lisa Capshaw |
| Siobhan Fallon | ... | Meg |
| Beth Cahill | ... | Pam |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Di |
| Sketch | Who Shot Me? |
| Mary Stuart Masterson | ... | Ms. Ketcham |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. McKenzie |
| Chris Rock | ... | Caldwell |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Lucretia Diane |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Desmond |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Juan |
| Sketch | Colosseum Events Committee |
| Phil Hartman | ... | chairman |
| Mike Myers | ... | chairman |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | chairman |
| Film | Million Dollar Zombie |
| Michael J. Anderson | ... | servant |
| Chris Farley | ... | Bill Carruthers |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ed McMahon |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Vicky Carruthers |
| Siobhan Fallon | ... | zombie |
| Beth Cahill | ... | zombie |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | zombie |
| Gregory G. Allen | ... | farmhand |
| Sketch | Money for Booze |
| Chris Farley | ... | bum |
| Phil Hartman | ... | passerby |
⁕The "bad thoughts" music was later used for "Mystery Dinner Theater" on 01.14.1995 and the cold opening on 10.17.1998.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mary Stuart Masterson | 5 | ||||
| En Vogue | 2 | ||||
| Michael J. Anderson | 1 | ||||
| Joel Godard | 1 | 1 | |||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 3 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Chris Farley | 5 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 10 | 2 | 3 | ||
| Victoria Jackson | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Kevin Nealon | 5 | 1 | |||
| Chris Rock | 2 | ||||
| Julia Sweeney | 1 | ||||
| Ellen Cleghorne | 1 | ||||
| Siobhan Fallon | 2 | 1 | |||
| Tim Meadows | 2 | ||||
| Adam Sandler | 2 | 1 | |||
| Rob Schneider | 2 | ||||
| David Spade | |||||
| Beth Cahill | 3 | 2 | |||
| Al Franken | |||||
| Melanie Hutsell | 2 | 1 | |||
| Robert Smigel | |||||
| Gregory G. Allen | 1 | ||||
| Jack Handey | 3 | 3 | |||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jeff Renaudo | 1 | 1 | |||
| 61 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 2 |