| Cold Opening | A Message From Jeff Gillooly |
| Show | Thugs |
| Musical Performance | "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" |
| Sketch | Scared Straight |
| Sketch | Bike Messenger |
| Musical Performance | "Afternoons & Coffeespoons" |
| Sketch | Bench Warmer |
| Cold Opening | A Message From Jeff Gillooly |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Jeff Gillooly Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show | Thugs |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Eugene Carl Murdock |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | victim |
| Rob Schneider | ... | victim |
| Fred Wolf | ... | police officer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Norm MacDonald |
Commentary on Michael Jackson | |
| David Spade |
| Sketch | Scared Straight |
| Chris Farley | ... | Matt Foley |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Warden Hammersly |
| Tim Meadows | ... | juvenile |
| Jay Mohr | ... | juvenile |
| Adam Sandler | ... | juvenile |
| Rob Schneider | ... | juvenile |
| David Spade | ... | juvenile |
| Sketch | Bike Messenger |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | passerby |
| Phil Hartman | ... | passerby |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | passerby |
| Jay Mohr | ... | passerby |
| Mike Myers | ... | bike messenger |
| Adam Sandler | ... | passerby |
| Rob Schneider | ... | paperboy |
| David Spade | ... | Stevie Siskin |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | passerby |
| Sketch | Bench Warmer |
| Phil Hartman | ... | coach |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Will George |
| Jay Mohr | ... | player |
| Fred Wolf | ... | player |
| Dave Attell | ... | spectator |
| Steve Koren | ... | spectator |
| Steve Lookner | ... | spectator |
| Lew Morton | ... | spectator |
| Cold Opening | A Message From Jeff Gillooly |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Jeff Gillooly Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show | Thugs |
| Martin Lawrence | ... | Clarence Darnell |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Eugene Carl Murdock |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | victim |
| Rob Schneider | ... | victim |
| Fred Wolf | ... | police officer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Norm MacDonald |
Commentary on Michael Jackson | |
| David Spade |
| Sketch | Scared Straight |
| Martin Lawrence | ... | Deshawn Powers |
| Chris Farley | ... | Matt Foley |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Warden Hammersly |
| Tim Meadows | ... | juvenile |
| Jay Mohr | ... | juvenile |
| Adam Sandler | ... | juvenile |
| Rob Schneider | ... | juvenile |
| David Spade | ... | juvenile |
| Sketch | Bike Messenger |
| Martin Lawrence | ... | passerby |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | passerby |
| Phil Hartman | ... | passerby |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | passerby |
| Jay Mohr | ... | passerby |
| Mike Myers | ... | bike messenger |
| Adam Sandler | ... | passerby |
| Rob Schneider | ... | paperboy |
| David Spade | ... | Stevie Siskin |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | passerby |
| Sketch | Bench Warmer |
| Martin Lawrence | ... | Ray Morris |
| Henry Simmons | ... | Johnny |
| Phil Hartman | ... | coach |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Will George |
| Jay Mohr | ... | player |
| Fred Wolf | ... | player |
| Dave Attell | ... | spectator |
| Steve Koren | ... | spectator |
| Steve Lookner | ... | spectator |
| Lew Morton | ... | spectator |
| Jeffrey Reeves | ... | referee |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Martin Lawrence | 7 | 1 | |||
| Crash Test Dummies | 2 | ||||
| Henry Simmons | 1 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Ellen Cleghorne | 1 | ||||
| Chris Farley | 2 | 1 | |||
| Al Franken | 1 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 5 | 1 | |||
| Melanie Hutsell | 1 | 1 | |||
| Norm MacDonald | 4 | ||||
| Tim Meadows | 3 | 1 | |||
| Jay Mohr | 3 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 1 | ||||
| Adam Sandler | 2 | ||||
| Rob Schneider | 4 | 1 | |||
| Sarah Silverman | |||||
| David Spade | 3 | 1 | |||
| Julia Sweeney | 1 | ||||
| Fred Wolf | 2 | 1 | |||
| Dave Attell | 1 | ||||
| Steve Koren | 1 | ||||
| Steve Lookner | 1 | ||||
| Lew Morton | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jeffrey Reeves | 1 | ||||
| 51 | 3 | 4 | 4 |