| Cold Opening | Oprah 2002 |
| Cameron Diaz | ... | Tina Baxter |
| John Goodman | ... | Linda Tripp#2 |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Hillary Clinton#4 |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton#37 |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Oprah Winfrey#7 Live |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Thelma Weston |
| Molly Shannon | ... | Monica Lewinsky#10 |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Kenneth Starr#1 |
⁕In reruns, everything before the guest entrances is replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
⁕Chris Parnell accidentally refers to Tim Meadows as "Connie", the name of his girlfriend. Consequently, this portion is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.