| Cold Opening | Cronyism |
| Sketch | 4th Grade Science Fair |
| Sketch | Werewolf |
| Sketch | The Misadventures of Tom DeLay and Bill Frist |
| Musical Performance | "Catch Me When I Fall" |
| Sketch | Wilson Bros. Funeral Home |
| Sketch | Hubbard Systems Retreat |
| Musical Performance | "Boyfriend" |
| Cold Opening | Cronyism |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Harriet Miers |
| Will Forte | ... | George W. Bush |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Dick Cheney |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Alberto Gonzales Live |
| Monologue |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Jose |
| Will Forte | ... | Kip |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Leopold Samsonite |
| Liz Cackowski | ... | audience member |
| Commercial |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Bill Hader | ... | customer |
| Andy Samberg | ... | customer |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | customer |
| Sketch | 4th Grade Science Fair |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Anna |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Kaitlin |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Rick |
| Andy Samberg | ... | Michael |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | teacher |
| Sketch | Werewolf |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Sarah |
| Bill Hader | ... | police officer |
| Andy Samberg | ... | Nick |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | police officer |
| Sketch | The Misadventures of Tom DeLay and Bill Frist |
| Will Forte | ... | Thomas DeLay |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Bill Frist |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Wilson Bros. Funeral Home |
| Fred Armisen | ... | funeral director |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Judy Puty |
| Will Forte | ... | Heath Bronson |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | announcer Voice |
| Finesse Mitchell | ... | Paul Novarks |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Debbie Lassem |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | police officer |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Bobby Windetta |
| Bill Hader | ... | Matthew Rogers |
| Andy Samberg | ... | Lou Wugner |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | friend |
| Sketch | Hubbard Systems Retreat |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Philip |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Patty |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Gary |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Irene |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Peter |
| Commercial |
| Finesse Mitchell | ... | apl.de.ap |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Fergie |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Will.i.am |
| Bill Hader | ... | spokesperson |
| Cold Opening | Cronyism |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Harriet Miers |
| Will Forte | ... | George W. Bush |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Dick Cheney |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Alberto Gonzales Live |
| Sketch | The Misadventures of Tom DeLay and Bill Frist |
| Cold Opening | Cronyism |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Harriet Miers |
| Will Forte | ... | George W. Bush |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Dick Cheney |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Alberto Gonzales Live |
| Monologue |
| Jon Heder | ||
| Fred Armisen | ... | Jose |
| Will Forte | ... | Kip |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Leopold Samsonite |
| Liz Cackowski | ... | audience member |
| Commercial |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Bill Hader | ... | customer |
| Andy Samberg | ... | customer |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | customer |
⁕This commercial parody is accidentally interrupted for several seconds by the establishing shot for the funeral home sketch later in the episode.
| Sketch | 4th Grade Science Fair |
| Jon Heder | ... | Travis |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Anna |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Kaitlin |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Rick |
| Andy Samberg | ... | Michael |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | teacher |
| Sketch | Werewolf |
| Jon Heder | ... | Tom |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Sarah |
| Bill Hader | ... | police officer |
| Andy Samberg | ... | Nick |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | police officer |
| Sketch | The Misadventures of Tom DeLay and Bill Frist |
| Will Forte | ... | Thomas DeLay |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Bill Frist |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | announcer Voice |
| Horatio Sanz | ||
| Amy Poehler | ||
| Will Forte | ... | Tim Calhoun |
| Lorne Michaels |
| Sketch | Wilson Bros. Funeral Home |
| Jon Heder | ... | Four Eyes |
| Fred Armisen | ... | funeral director |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Judy Puty |
| Will Forte | ... | Heath Bronson |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | announcer Voice |
| Finesse Mitchell | ... | Paul Novarks |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Debbie Lassem |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | police officer |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Bobby Windetta |
| Bill Hader | ... | Matthew Rogers |
| Andy Samberg | ... | Lou Wugner |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | friend |
⁕The sounds of each performer getting into and out of the casket can be heard repeatedly. Also, the camera cuts back just as Rachel Dratch is laying down, and she quickly faces away from the camera and laughs.
| Sketch | Hubbard Systems Retreat |
| Jon Heder | ... | Kevin Hubbard |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Philip |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Patty |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Gary |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Irene |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Peter |
| Commercial |
| Jon Heder | ... | Taboo |
| Finesse Mitchell | ... | apl.de.ap |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Fergie |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Will.i.am |
| Bill Hader | ... | spokesperson |
♬Maroon 5 - "This Love"
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jon Heder | 8 | 1 | |||
| Ashlee Simpson | 2 | ||||
| Jimmy Fallon | 1 | 1 | |||
| Fred Armisen | 4 | 1 | |||
| Rachel Dratch | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Tina Fey | |||||
| Will Forte | 5 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Darrell Hammond | 3 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Seth Meyers | 1 | ||||
| Finesse Mitchell | 2 | 1 | |||
| Chris Parnell | 1 | 1 | |||
| Amy Poehler | 6 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Maya Rudolph | |||||
| Horatio Sanz | 5 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Kenan Thompson | 2 | 1 | |||
| Bill Hader | 6 | ||||
| Andy Samberg | 4 | ||||
| Jason Sudeikis | 7 | 1 | |||
| Liz Cackowski | 1 | ||||
| Lorne Michaels | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Nick Psinakis | 1 | ||||
| 66 | 6 | 11 | 4 |