| Sketch | Parent-Teacher Conference |
| Miscellaneous | These Things |
| Musical Performance | "I Love You, Suzanne" |
| Game Show | Love Connection |
| Sketch | Dancing Lord |
| Sketch | Krypton Survives |
| Musical Performance | "Original Wrapper" |
| Cold Opening |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Church Lady |
| Nora Dunn | ||
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Andy Breckman | ||
| Robert Smigel |
| Commercial |
| Nora Dunn | ... | motorist |
| Phil Hartman | ... | spokesperson |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | motorist |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | motorist |
| Sketch | Parent-Teacher Conference |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Carl Best |
| Nora Dunn | ... | secretary |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Mrs. Geebler |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. Geebler |
| Sketch |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Chick Hazard |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Ginger Kelley |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Eddie Spimozo |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Charlie Loomis |
| Marc Shaiman | ... | band member |
| G.E. Smith | ... | band member |
| Game Show | Love Connection |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Dr. Norma Hoeffering |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Marge Keister |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Fern |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Chuck Woolery |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Dancing Lord |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Lord Christy |
| Phil Hartman | ... | painter |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | painter |
| Dennis Miller | ... | servant |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | servant |
| Sketch | Krypton Survives |
| Dana Carvey | ... | parent |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Laura |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Superman |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | parent |
| Dennis Miller | ... | citizen |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | criminal |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | police officer |
| Cold Opening |
| Sam Kinison | Live | |
| Seka | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Church Lady |
| Nora Dunn | ||
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Andy Breckman | ||
| Robert Smigel |
| Commercial |
| Nora Dunn | ... | motorist |
| Phil Hartman | ... | spokesperson |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | motorist |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | motorist |
| Sketch | Parent-Teacher Conference |
| Sam Kinison | ... | teacher |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Carl Best |
| Nora Dunn | ... | secretary |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Mrs. Geebler |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. Geebler |
| Sketch |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Chick Hazard |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Ginger Kelley |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Eddie Spimozo |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Charlie Loomis |
| Marc Shaiman | ... | band member |
| G.E. Smith | ... | band member |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Victoria Jackson |
Baby ScarlettTerrorism |
⁕At the beginning of this segment, Dennis Miller says "Never let 'em see you sweat" because the set was not completely assembled until moments before the camera was on him.
⁕Victoria Jackson laughs while narrating her video footage, and Dennis makes fun of her for it.
♬"The Wild Wild West" Theme
| Game Show | Love Connection |
| Sam Kinison | ||
| Gwen Welles | ... | Zena |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Dr. Norma Hoeffering |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Marge Keister |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Fern |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Chuck Woolery |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Dancing Lord |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Lord Christy |
| Phil Hartman | ... | painter |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | painter |
| Dennis Miller | ... | servant |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | servant |
| Sketch | Krypton Survives |
| Sam Kinison | ... | Jorel |
| Dana Carvey | ... | parent |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Laura |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Superman |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | parent |
| Dennis Miller | ... | citizen |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | criminal |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | police officer |
⁕The phone rings after Sam Kinison answers it, prompting him to ad-lib "I answered the phone, will you stop ringing it?"
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sam Kinison | 6 | ||||
| Lou Reed | 2 | ||||
| Seka | 1 | ||||
| Gwen Welles | 1 | ||||
| J.T. Lewis | 2 | ||||
| Dana Carvey | 5 | 2 | |||
| Nora Dunn | 5 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 5 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Jan Hooks | 3 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 4 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 3 | 1 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 3 | ||||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 6 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Andy Breckman | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Marc Shaiman | 1 | ||||
| Robert Smigel | 1 | ||||
| G.E. Smith | 2 | ||||
| T-Bone Wolk | 1 | ||||
| 55 | 8 | 1 | 3 |